I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the day after is always just damage control
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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