Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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