Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
