yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
