if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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