Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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