The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
