If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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