i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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