yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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