My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize