I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
