i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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