Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
