the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
