I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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