4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
