Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
