People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
