i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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