But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
