I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
