I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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