If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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