So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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