My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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