maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
