I heard we made out
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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