that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
