oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
