Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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