nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wanna passion pit in your ass
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
