If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
