i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
