he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
