My room smells like vodka and shame
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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