I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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