I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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