thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm too high and old for this...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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