the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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