Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
