I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Life is so much better after having sex.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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