I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
