Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
