just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
