I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
be right there i have to get my cape
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
