HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
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Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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