I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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