Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
smell my finger.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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