She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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