actually, I'm a sock model
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
me + whiskey = a bad person
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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