I'm going to jail i love you
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She's the barista slut.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
