We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
