Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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