She's JV to your varsity
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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