ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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