R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
