Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
