shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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