Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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