Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
