I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
