I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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