I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
tell me about the eggs
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
