I cannot find my penis.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
