We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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