It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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