Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I got chris browned last night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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