she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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