Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I would ride that face into the sunset
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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