at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Randomize
