false alarm. still invincible.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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