Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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